The Fam

The Fam
Family Photos Fall 2015

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

When bad things go good or even gooder!

I read my sister Dedra’s blog post this morning and it is completely entertaining.  However I was expecting something different something like bad situations turned around.  The stories about half full glasses of soda were fun too; I like the milk one the best. This inspired me to write something a little different.

  1.  Don’t you hate it where you spray your lawn for weeds, kill all the weeds and most of the lawn also.  On the up side the weeds are dead and some of the lawn survived.
  2.  It’s a bummer when you tell your kids they can’t have a swimming pool because you are cheap to buy one, however it is wonderful when they accept a 2 foot deep mud hole in the front of your newly dead yard as an acceptable substitute.

  1.  It’s kind of upsetting when you walk out and look at the hood of your car and it appears like someone just took sandpaper to it.  But when your 8 year old son comes running out all excited that he just washed your car and wanted to surprise you it makes it really hard to get mad.
  2.  It is really frustrating when you have several rock chucks (ground hogs, yellow bellied marmots, whistle pigs,  or wood chucks they are all the same animal) living under your shed and cannot get a clean shot off.  However when your buddy lets you borrow his 17 with a 3x9 scope on it and you can take 6 out in one day it all tends to work out.  The best part is that I was 150 yards out and they could not figure out why all their friends and family were dying, they just stood there begging to get shot.
  3. You think it rained chocolate chips them walk outside to see a heard of sheep walking down the road. Oops.

  1. When you have a goat that constantly escapes and teaches the rest of the goats how to get out.  You really appreciate Craig’s List and the fact someone is looking for a goat to bbq and you have the solution walking around your pasture.

  2. The kids clean the living room by removing all the cushions from the couch and make a fort in another room.  You can’t sit down but you have an afternoon of quiet.  This can be extended into two days if you let them make 2 forts and have a nerf war.  You then get to break out the folding camping chairs so you have someplace to sit down.  Our living room looks AWESOME!  Now all I need is a couch to put on the front porch.
  3. When you walk into the kitchen and see your wife bought cheerios.  You eat a bowl and are blessed with cheerio tasting burps the rest of the morning.  Awesome! It is like eating the bowl of cereal all over again.

Life is really what we choose to make of it.  I saw the funniest quote yesterday that really made me laugh.  Don’t think of yourself as ugly think of yourself as a cute monkey.  I sent it to Dedra and she included it in her Blog, I think it is going to go viral.  

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Arranged marriages...the way it should be!

I sit in my living room at 11:30 at night it is 80 degrees outside and there is a wonderful breeze moving through our home.  It made me think of what a great life we have and how I have just taken care of one more part of my duties as a father.  Mayson my oldest son is spending a couple of weeks at scout camp as a counselor in training.  In his absence we were blessed with a visit from an old high school friend of mine and her daughter.  (For the sake of her daughter and sheer terror this post will cause this wonderfully talented 14 year old girl I will simply refer to her as Jujubee.)  They joined us for the 4th of July and we had a great visit together.  In our conversations it was decided that Mayson and Jujubee needed to get married.  After a few minutes of haggling over a dowry (she is and 8 cow wife) terms were accepted the parents fist bumped in agreement and it was decided that we would inform the kids of their impending engagement.  Mayson has not yet been told, however this is the 3rd such marriage I have arranged for him.  It’s good to have options.  I am confident he will not be surprised and will happily accept this arrangement. Miss Jujubee was startled and to my great surprise wanted nothing to do with this arrangement.  We pointed out all the obvious perks:

·         Awesome in-laws that don’t overstep their boundaries.

·         Jujubee is just a hair over 5 foot 1 and Mayson is pushing 6 foot 4 so it would introduce height into their gene pool.

·         The families are both from the Pacific Northwest so it would be easy to see extended family.

·         Jujubees dad would be the proud owner of 8 new cows (she claims it should have been 10).
·         These 2 lovebirds have 6 years to get to know each other and warm up to the idea of getting married.  This is all at a comfortable distance of 500 miles so we insure a temple wedding.

The discussion and wedding planning went on through the evening the entire time Jujubee wanted nothing to do with it.  She had wisely decided to leave the boring details of her wedding, honeymoon and life to her more wise and experienced parents and soon to be in-laws.  We discussed possible dates and decided a fall wedding would be best so Jujubee would not be too hot in her dress.  There will be a coin toss to determine if it is going to be the Boise or Seattle temple. 

I need to set a countdown banner on my blog.  Mayson will be getting home from his mission is 6 years so clear your calendar for a wedding in Fall of 2019.  It should be Awesome!  After all of this work it dawned on me that I have 4 other kids I need to get working on.  I have 2 daughters and I like cows and all but a power boat or jet skis would be just as nice when it comes to a dowry.  So if there are any takers out there or you would like to put in your bids let me know.  We have weddings to plan and kids to get matched up. 

Oh and it would be best if you did not talk to my wife Rhonda about this.  I don’t want to weigh her down with details and she will start in on some talk about free agency, it is their life and for me to stop trying to get camping equipment in exchange for our kids hand in marriage.