Bobby and the Family Judd

Robert Judd is one of my best friends we served in the Bishopric together and have been out camping more nights than I can remembers.  I want nothing but the best for Robert, yesterday was his 45 birthday I think he is like 45 but he looks 28.  Robert and his family performed at our ward talent show with his family a couple of years ago.  Me being the great friend that I am recorded his performance put it on youtube and sent links to all of his coworkers.  I thought it would be appriopriatte to dedicate todays post to him and share his masterful perfoormancee of Johny Cash's song Ring of Fire.

Whatever happened to Green Jello and Carrots?

OK I am tired of writing about passing gas.  There is a much bigger concern that needs to take precedence.  A major part of our culture that is slowly melting away and disappearing into a colorful sticky mess.   I made a joke last week at dinner and everyone over 30 laughed and no one else had any idea what I was talking about.  We were eating a jello and pudding dessert my 8 year old daughter Payton made and I asked where the green jello with carrots was.   No one had any idea what I was talking about. 

I loved going to church pot lucks as a kid and seeing the variety of jello salads.  Some had bananas, others had shredded carrots, some had fruit cocktail mixed in some even dared to add little marshmallows.  Then occasionally someone would go all about and put  cool whip topping on theirs.  The funny thing is, I did not like them as a kids and I like them even less as an adult.  I just liked looking at the creative use of the gelatinous material and how it hid or helped transport the other foods I did not like.  Its like the cook was thinking hey no one likes these items separately lets mix them together and make something even more “wonderful”.  Or more likely the thought process was “What do I need to get rid of out of the fridge that the kids won’t eat?  Nobody at church will know I brought this nasty dish anyway. 



The strawberrys make it look a lot tastier than it is!

This looks like some punch that went really really wrong!

Is that cheese? YES!  Is that marshmallows? YES! Is that fruit? YES! Is that pudding? YES! Is that all held together by jello? YES!  Was this person thinking clearly when they created this?  OH NO, Heck NO!!

Are bananas to supposed to be that color?



The funky jello salads may be fewer and further between but no worries they have been replaces with bags of chips, deli pasta salads and bags of lettuce.  All things that people will eat and all things that require little to no effort to fix.  I remember attending an elders quorum pot luck in a singles ward.  The quorum provided the burgers and buns and that was it.  The quorum members brought everything else which consisted of Ketchup packets and fries from McDonalds, 10 bags of chips and I tub of potatoes salad.  We had to use the plastic lid from the potato salad as the spoon because we forgot those as well.  Needless to say it was our last Elders Quorum Picnic.  After that we invited the relief Society and let them take care of the food we did the games. 

I guess it is not so bad seeing the jello salad concoctions go away.  I just wish that could have taken liver and onions, cottage cheese and lentils with them.

 

The MTC , For those of you who have been there you know what I am talking about

OK you can’t have a week of posts about gas and not mention the MTC.  If you are a person completely offended by this quit reading it or go on a mission and spend 3-9 weeks in the MTC.  The  MTC is one of the best experiences I have ever had.  But man do you get some serious gas.  All you do is sit in class 9 hours a day and eat in between each class.  I don’t know what they do our how it works but everybody and I mean everybody has gas.  It is a common experience to walkout of your class for your 15 minute break and find  other districts in the hall that have been gassed out by one of it members. We had one elder who would purposely go a day or two without a bowel movement so his farts would stink and we could get extra breaks in class.  This terminal case of gas cleared up a few days after we left the MTC but it was tough while you were there.  I remember once time Elder Claire let one go and we vacated the classroom.  We closed the door behind us and went on a walk.  We came back 10-15 minutes later opened the door and turned around and went for another walk.   We might have been Elders and ordained servants of God but we are all still 19 year old boys.

Buying a camera can get stinky

When I was getting ready to go my mission I needed to buy a camera.  I did some research and the exact model I settled on actually was advertised on sale at the local K-Mart.  I did not want to miss this chance so I took my money and got there the morning the sale started.  I was working at Pietro’s Pizza and did not get home until after 1:00am as a general rule.  I was not out to impress anyone so when I went to the store I rolled out of bed and skipped the whole hygiene thing that morning.  I looked and most likely smelled pretty rough. 

There was this really rude women working the camera counter when I got there.  She was really short and did not want to help me. I know I looked bad but that is no reason to have poor customer service.  Through a series of questions i cornered her into helping me and she started showing me cameras.  This was before the days of having a model camera chained to the counter.  She had to hand me each camera one at a time. And wait for me to decide.  I had decided to buy the camera and then it happened A silent but deadly fart slipped out.  It made my eyes water, I almost said something.  I smelled it and I knew she smelled it to.  She was all of a sudden really motivated to get me to go away.  Being a person who does not get offended or embarrassed this was not a time to turn tail and run.  It was a time for payback.  She was really rude to me earlier, so  I made her stand there and show me 4-5 more cameras while I worked to muster additional pockets of gas.  The best part was after I had liquidated all of my reserves I went with the first camera she showed me.  Not my most charitable moment but definitely one I think fondly on. 

Is that fart honking for the right of way?

I am sitting in the Airport getting ready to get on a plane to Wichita Kansas.  I have never been to Wichita not that I have anything against it, the opportunity for our paths to cross has never really come up until now. 

We had a retirement party for my dad over the weekend.  Most of my brothers and sisters were there.  As we were talking it struck me that real life is always way more funny and way more difficult that TV or movies make it out to be.  I was talking to one of my nephews and he started to tell fart jokes.  This is an eternal right of passage.  Boys will tell the same jokes generation after generation and they will be just as funny as they were the first time that they were told.  This got me thinking.  There is a childrens book “Everybody Poops” which helps us draw the conclusion everybody farts.  I walked in and saw part of an episode of Opera my wife was watching with some famous Dr. Oz on it.  The episode was about farting and poop.  Heck if I knew that Opera talked about bodily functions I probably would have watched her show.  (I did some checking she did not normally talk about poop this was just a special or something”) But anyway on this episode they said that the normal person tooted 17 times per day.  That means that when you are reading this most likely you have already tooted today. 

In honor of my nephew and his choice in jokes I have decided to dedicate and entire week of posts to terds honking for the right of way that’s right.  You have heard of sweeps week, finals week and shark week.  This is going to be fart week.  It is expected to be all true stories and just as distasteful as it sounds.  And much like real life all true stories because you just can make this stuff up. 

Oh and in advance I have not discussed this with my wife who would most likely show a high level of objections to this line of writing, even though I have personal knowledge she lets the occasional fart go.  Proof this is not just a guy thing. 

Have you ever tried to sneak past a border guard?

I have one of the coolest jobs in the world.  Monday I am heading off to Wichita Kansas to meet with some perspective clients.  Then a week after that I have to go to Cancun Mexico to meet with other clients.  I regularly fly all over the country.  This is one aspect of my job I completely enjoy and really look forward to.  Oh and did I mention my wife gets to go to Mexico with me.  Cool beans!!  In the past three years I have had to go to Canada several times but just drove across the border so no passport was needed.  But for this Mexico trip we needed a passports.

 Neither of us had a passport so we took an afternoon last month and went and completed our applications, got some ridiculously expensive photos and headed off to the courthouse.  Everything went off without a hitch until I the lady at the courthouse reviewed my application.  I had a passport 20 years ago but it expired so I destroyed it.  There was question that asked if I had ever had a passport before and if so what was the number.  I told her I had a passport but not idea what the number was.  She said just mark you have never had a passport before.  I thought that was odd but she was the expert.  10 days later Rhonda's passport shows up.  Mine is nowhere to be seen.  I keep checking online then last Monday a letter shows up.  They said that I have not adequately identified myself and they need 19 hundred other pieces of ID.  No joke I had to take them the following:

• High school yearbooks
• Pictures of me in the newspaper
• speeding tickets
• expired ID
• Utilities bills
• my kids birth certificates

Oh and did I mention that these all had to be dated before 2001.  You know 10 years ago.  Who keeps this stuff?  Oh and we are in the process of moving so all of my worldly possessions are neatly packed in the most excellent game of life sized tetras I have ever done.  It really is a thing of beauty perfectly balanced boxes along with buckets of wheat neatly packed around my by original 1985 full arcade sized game of Gauntlet. 

I called Wendi and she had the one yearbook that Heather, Wendi and I were all in.  I discovered the error (expense) of getting tickets long ago and have not had a ticket it years (even though I have been pulled over no less than 15 times in the last 6 years).  All of the newspaper articles with me are less than ten years old.  I do have 3 kids that are over 10 years old so they came in handy. 

Our wonderful government has a plan for this.  They think of everything.  I had to come up with every house I have ever lived in including the address and the dates I lived there.  For my family in Basin City that would not be hard.  Most of them outside of college could probably count the number of homes they have lived in on 1 hand...or maybe 2 fingers.  Me on the other hand, I needed all of my fingers, toes and most of my wife's as well.  Keep in mind I have lived here in Port Townsend for the last 10 years I have moved a grand total (excluding mission transfers) 31 times.  In addition to this they needed all of the schools I attended.  Moving around a lot meant a lot of schools.  I had 3 elementary schools, 2 junior highs, 3 high schools and 5 colleges.  Oh and they also wanted every job I have ever had.  I only went back as far as my mission.  I don't think me flipping burgers at Dairy Queen is really that important. 

After putting all of this together which was no small feat mind you.  I had to go to Seattle and deliver it in person.  I went to the State department and met with a wonderful lady who was completely pleasant. Unlike the battle axe receptionist, she could have used a lesson or two on kindness from Barney the Dinosaur.  She got the yearbook out turned to the page I was on looked at the photo then at me then at the photo then at me then at the photo....you get the idea.  After about her doing this 6 times I looked at her and said "Its been 23 years and I am fat now, come on work with me"  She smiled and said lets take a look at those newspaper clippings.  After sometime she said she would issue the passport and I am actually the Ryan Anderson I claim to be.  That was reassuring.  I had some high hopes there for a few minutes if I really wasn't me I would not have to pay my taxes.  Then yesterday the passport came in the mail and it was all good.  The odd thing is that if it were not for the miracle of technology I would have completely forgotten about it, but now you get to read about it.  How lucky are you!

Summer 2011 in review

This last summer was probably one of the busiest we have ever had when it comes to Scouting Activities. We had our end of summer court of honor last night and Mayson earned 8 merit badges and was awarded his Star.  He actually earned it 4 months ago but he now has it so he can wear it on his uniform.  We created a slide show of the summer events and showed it as well.  So for your viewing pleasure you can see it:

I had trouble finding it on youtube so I uploaded directly to my blog.  You can see it on Youtube as well at this link. 

Father and Son Campout is coming up again

For the last few years every October the men folk in my family have gotten together for a father son camping trip.  We generally go to Fort Flagler State Park.  Then the next day we go out to the County's gravel pit and go shooting.  Everything from had guns to high powered rifles.  I was looking for some photos where we went shooting in the snow last winter with my Sisters hopefully soon to be husband if gets the nerve up to ask and have been unsuccessful in finding them.  However I did find these pics from our trip last year.  I thought this would be a good motivation for those who missed it last year to join us this year.


Food always tastes better outside.  Especially when its hot and you are cold and hungry (funny how that works).  We had a great dinner and I was tasked with making dessert.  I was trying to convert my dad over to dutch oven cobblers.  He said he has never had a good one.  I made what was supposed to be a great cobbler except I reversed the oil and water in the recipe on accident.  Yes 2 cups of oil and 1/2 cup of water.  It was a goey nasty mess.  Dad still does not like cobblers.  However the breakfast burritoes rocked!

We also explored the bunkers left from World War 2.  These things are 200 yards long and 2 stories deep.  Great for games of sardines or capture the flag.

Mayson, Mathew and Harmon

Mayson is improving his gun handling skills.  I think a hunter safety course is going to be in his very near future.  It took about half the clip for him to get over his fear of the gun and be able to really start aiming and getting close to the target.  My Dad was a cop for many years and still completely smokes us all when it comes to shooting with the handguns.  However when it comes tot he Shotguns I can take him.

 Shooting was fun, those clay pigeons and milk jugs did not stand a chance.  I love watching the kids faces the first time they hit a milk jug filled with water with a high powered rifle.  The jug exploded raining water everywhere. After the first couple of rounds with someone helping them they usually take it on by themselves.  However Harmon is only good for about 4 shots total before he is done.

He likes the .22 rifle better than the big guns or the 9mm. 

Nolahn is a hoot to take shooting.  The first time he was 3 years old and sat in my lap the entire time.  We were using a bolt action .22.  He would open the bolt load the shell, sloe the bolt and pull the trigger.  Not a lot of aiming going on just a lot of noise.  However at 5 years old he is doing much better.  He still can't hold the gun up on his own unless he is in the prone position and sticks the butt under his arm.  But he can shoot and and is really quite good.  At 40 yards he can consistently hit a 4 inch target.

He likes to shoot the shotgun if he uses someone else's shoulder. 



Playing with building supplies

We were at my wife's mothers home helping her clean up the yard and surrounding grounds.  While we were there my kids found these old construction tubes for irrigation or cement or something.  They were to cool not to play with so they taught themselves to walk on them much like a lumberjack on a floating log.  I tried it...off camera.  The only person who was happy I even tried will be my chiropractor.  This is definitely a young persons sport.  I really like the evolution of using the battle baton to knock each other off.  Great lesson on adversity in all things.

Slide show from our wards Scouts and Young Women

I hve posted in the past that I have been active with the scouts and young women in our ward.  Over the years we have made a variety of slide show from the various activities.  They are fun to see especially if you were on the trip or know the kids.  For those of you who do not fall into this group...don't you wish you were as cool or lucky as us.  Its OK you have something to work towards.  But seriously these events were a really good time and tons of fun!

Our Ward has a very active year round girls camp program.  For one of my daughters 10 hour projects she made this slide show.  I think it is my favorite of the group.

2009 year in review

Compelation of Woodbadge courses that our leaders attended

2010 Summer Camps

2010 year in review

Spencer Judd's Eagle court of Honor slide show

Anker Peets Eagle court of honor slide show