When bad things go good or even gooder!

I read my sister Dedra’s blog post this morning and it is completely entertaining.  However I was expecting something different something like bad situations turned around.  The stories about half full glasses of soda were fun too; I like the milk one the best. This inspired me to write something a little different.

1.  Don’t you hate it where you spray your lawn for weeds, kill all the weeds and most of the lawn also.  On the up side the weeds are dead and some of the lawn survived.
2.  It’s a bummer when you tell your kids they can’t have a swimming pool because you are cheap to buy one, however it is wonderful when they accept a 2 foot deep mud hole in the front of your newly dead yard as an acceptable substitute.

1.  It’s kind of upsetting when you walk out and look at the hood of your car and it appears like someone just took sandpaper to it.  But when your 8 year old son comes running out all excited that he just washed your car and wanted to surprise you it makes it really hard to get mad.
2.  It is really frustrating when you have several rock chucks (ground hogs, yellow bellied marmots, whistle pigs,  or wood chucks they are all the same animal) living under your shed and cannot get a clean shot off.  However when your buddy lets you borrow his 17 with a 3x9 scope on it and you can take 6 out in one day it all tends to work out.  The best part is that I was 150 yards out and they could not figure out why all their friends and family were dying, they just stood there begging to get shot.
3. You think it rained chocolate chips them walk outside to see a heard of sheep walking down the road. Oops.
4. 
   
   

1. When you have a goat that constantly escapes and teaches the rest of the goats how to get out.  You really appreciate Craig’s List and the fact someone is looking for a goat to bbq and you have the solution walking around your pasture.
2. 
   
   
3. The kids clean the living room by removing all the cushions from the couch and make a fort in another room.  You can’t sit down but you have an afternoon of quiet.  This can be extended into two days if you let them make 2 forts and have a nerf war.  You then get to break out the folding camping chairs so you have someplace to sit down.  Our living room looks AWESOME!  Now all I need is a couch to put on the front porch.
4. When you walk into the kitchen and see your wife bought cheerios.  You eat a bowl and are blessed with cheerio tasting burps the rest of the morning.  Awesome! It is like eating the bowl of cereal all over again.

Life is really what we choose to make of it.  I saw the funniest quote yesterday that really made me laugh.  Don’t think of yourself as ugly think of yourself as a cute monkey.  I sent it to Dedra and she included it in her Blog, I think it is going to go viral.  

Arranged marriages...the way it should be!

I sit in my living room at 11:30 at night it is 80 degrees outside and there is a wonderful breeze moving through our home.  It made me think of what a great life we have and how I have just taken care of one more part of my duties as a father.  Mayson my oldest son is spending a couple of weeks at scout camp as a counselor in training.  In his absence we were blessed with a visit from an old high school friend of mine and her daughter.  (For the sake of her daughter and sheer terror this post will cause this wonderfully talented 14 year old girl I will simply refer to her as Jujubee.)  They joined us for the 4^th of July and we had a great visit together.  In our conversations it was decided that Mayson and Jujubee needed to get married.  After a few minutes of haggling over a dowry (she is and 8 cow wife) terms were accepted the parents fist bumped in agreement and it was decided that we would inform the kids of their impending engagement.  Mayson has not yet been told, however this is the 3^rd such marriage I have arranged for him.  It’s good to have options.  I am confident he will not be surprised and will happily accept this arrangement. Miss Jujubee was startled and to my great surprise wanted nothing to do with this arrangement.  We pointed out all the obvious perks:

·         Awesome in-laws that don’t overstep their boundaries.

·         Jujubee is just a hair over 5 foot 1 and Mayson is pushing 6 foot 4 so it would introduce height into their gene pool.

·         The families are both from the Pacific Northwest so it would be easy to see extended family.

·         Jujubees dad would be the proud owner of 8 new cows (she claims it should have been 10).

·         These 2 lovebirds have 6 years to get to know each other and warm up to the idea of getting married.  This is all at a comfortable distance of 500 miles so we insure a temple wedding.

The discussion and wedding planning went on through the evening the entire time Jujubee wanted nothing to do with it.  She had wisely decided to leave the boring details of her wedding, honeymoon and life to her more wise and experienced parents and soon to be in-laws.  We discussed possible dates and decided a fall wedding would be best so Jujubee would not be too hot in her dress.  There will be a coin toss to determine if it is going to be the Boise or Seattle temple. 

I need to set a countdown banner on my blog.  Mayson will be getting home from his mission is 6 years so clear your calendar for a wedding in Fall of 2019.  It should be Awesome!  After all of this work it dawned on me that I have 4 other kids I need to get working on.  I have 2 daughters and I like cows and all but a power boat or jet skis would be just as nice when it comes to a dowry.  So if there are any takers out there or you would like to put in your bids let me know.  We have weddings to plan and kids to get matched up. 

Oh and it would be best if you did not talk to my wife Rhonda about this.  I don’t want to weigh her down with details and she will start in on some talk about free agency, it is their life and for me to stop trying to get camping equipment in exchange for our kids hand in marriage. 

Awkward adn Awesome

Awesome: Being able to write a blog post whenever I want
Awkward: Not knowing how to spell and. 

Awesome: Not being a football fan, OK I don't mind watching an occasional game but I found out who was in the Superbowl yesterday morning at church.
Awkward: Not understanding what all the jokes about a blackout are about.  Still not clue, I think there might have been a power issue at the game but honestly I am not sure.

Awesome: Having Sunday afternoon to catch up on church and family stuff.
Awkward: Calling other people who are football fans trying to get information.  Apparently there is no good time to call during the Superbowl.  Who knew?

Awesome: Having all 5 kids stay awake through early morning church
Awkward: Having all 5 kids take an afternoon nap so they are still up past midnight

Awesome: Having a farm cat that has adopted us and is one super mouser
Awkward: Having it bring its latest catch to our back door so we can see it.
Super Awesome: Kids yelling during dinner  "Dad its true they do throwup cool stuff!  Look at what its doing now."

Awkward: Having assorted bird and mouse parts piling up on our back porch
Awesome: Asking what kid wants to claim the cat (who was named TS Elliott) as their own.
Super Awesome: Watching the said child back pedal as soon as they find out the owner of the cat has to clean up the assorted animal parts.

Awesome: Getting a couple of days off work
Awkward: Having the wife get sick so I got to spend the time driving her all over the courtry side to various doctors who basically said "take 2 asprin and call me in the morning".

How to spend Sunday afternoons

About 8 years ago I started to give my kids a monthly interview.  This takes place the first Sunday of each month.  Over the years it has evolved as the kids have gotten older.  We set goals for school, scouts and personal progress.  I ask them questions of the word of wisdom, feelings of the Savior and keeping the commandments.  That way it would be a common place for them.  So if when they were teenagers and having struggles that teenagers go through they would know that there was a time set aside each month to talk and to be held accountable.  I keep a detail note book of the things we talk about and I have gleaned a few gems to share with you here.  I will not reveal which kid said what or when it was said but I get a real charge out of going back and seeing their progress. 

5 Year old: Dad why do I have to brush my teeth they are going to fall out anyway

13 Year old:  Wanted to be a Vet, visited a Vets office and does not want to be a Vet anymore, apparently animals smell funny.

10 Year old:   Dad: Last month you were on the 2^nd chapter of Moses.  Where are you this month? Child:  Moses Chapter 2, I lost my bookmark and did not know where to read.  Dad:  Did you think to ask me? Or, maybe just start over? Child: No, I knew I was going to talk to you next month and you could tell me.

6 years old:  Child: Are chocolate covered cherries considered fruit?  Dad: No not really.  Why? I tried to make them part of my lunch and Mom said they were candy and not fruit.

7 year old: Could you please talk to Santa, last year he gave my brother way better toys than he gave me and I think it’s my turn to get the good toys.

10 Year old: Child: If my bed is not messed up to I have to make it? Dad: I guess not. Child:  OK thanks.  (Later I found out he was sleeping with a blanker on top of his made bed and stuffing the blanket under his bed.  After that was stopped it became easier to sleep with his little brother so his brother had to make the bed and he did not have to.)

11 years old:  Can we get a cat I heard they throw up cool stuff.

13 years old: At what point of time are we done setting goals and trying to improve this is getting old.

I really look forward to fast Sundays to talk to my kids.  The conversations have moved from struggles with learning to read to “Why does that person not like me?”  My 10 year old Payton gives me a pedicure every month.  This consists of me getting my toes painted a new and wonderful color each month.  Ask me some time I will be happy to show you her handy work she is really quite talented.  

These monthly stewardship interviews were a key part in Regann Earning her Young Women’s Medallion and Mayson his Eagle Scout Rank.  We were able to set short term goals and complete a tremendous amount of work.    

I would love to take credit for coming up with the idea of regular monthly interviews but it was actually my wife read an article by L. Tom Perry who said if he could change one thing from his children’s childhood was to have regular interviews and so we took his advice and are off and running.  If you are looking for a way to connect with your kids I would highly recommend trying interviews.  I love and they enjoy them too.  After a few months you don’t need to remember them anymore the kids will be all over you if you forget.

The more things change the more they stay the same

We are members of the Caldwell Idaho YMCA this is a great place with a huge indoor pool, gym, track and lots of activities.  Tonight they offered a Daddy Daughter Date night.  My daughter Payton and I attended.  We made crowns, had our picture taken, ate dinner, decorated cookies and danced the night away.  This was for dads and their daughters 3-11 years old.  There were probably 150 people there and we had a wonderful time.

This is one of the few times I have been to a public dance since I got married and quit going to young singles adult dances.  I was shocked how as soon as music is turned on and you are supposed to start dancing how many adult men completely shut down.  All of the dads fell into one of these categories:

Sexy and I know it: There was one of these.  He could dance.  He was less concerned about dancing with his daughter as we were performing for everyone else.  In fact I never saw him with his daughter he might have been a party crasher.

I am too scared to dance:  There must have been 30 men standing on the side of the dance floor with their daughters not dancing.  The girls wanted to and they were keeping themselves busy playing with balloons but some of them never actually made it onto the dance floor.

Rhythm, what’s that?  Ok this is where I fall.  I can’t dance; I never have been able to.  I can walk slowing in a circle rocking back and forth to  a slow song with the best of them.  I do have confidence and am completely comfortable looking stupid on the dance floor.  However until tonight I did not realize how bad I did look.  This is all thanks to the dance being held in a room with a floor to ceiling full wall mirror.  So as long as I “danced” with my back to the mirror I was fine.

I can’t dance so let’s do stupid tricks:  I have established I can’t dance, however I do try to blend in with the those that can and those like myself who don’t care and just fake it.  Is there some rule that getting on someone’s shoulders during a slow dance is not appropriate? Or having some sort of contest sliding across the floor on your knees is ok at a dance.  Is it just me or does this seem wrong?

We are here, but really want to be left alone: Ok in a young singles adult dance this is the couple that met last week and got engaged earlier that day so they slow dance to every song off in a corner someplace.  I have a family member that did that several times… with a different fiancé each time.  At a daddy daughter date that would be awkward and a little creepy.  But there were a few people who were giving each other their undivided attention.  One dad was teaching his daughter how to dance, another was taking turns dancing between his two little girls, and it was very sweet.

All in all it was a great night.  

Awkward and Freakin Awesome

I have had a really busy new year and have had many things happen that are way better than awesome so we are going to have a "freakin" Awesome catigory for this post.

Awesome: Taking my kids snow camping for the first time
Awkward: Getting the truck stuck in a ditch, having lots of rain, got lost, very little snow, not bringing a tent, making tarp shelters, cooking in the middle ot the road and getting soaking wet.
Feaking Awesome: Having the kids refer to this as the best camping trip ever.
You can see photos here, but you have to use a snapfish account to view them if you dont have a snapfish account you can open one fore free really easily.

Awesome: Getting to go sledding
Awkward: Rain turned snow to slush
Freaking Awesome: Scrapping the hill and getting pulled behind the suburban on ice covered logging roads instead.

Awesome: Letting the kids each invite a friend to go snow camping with us
Awkward: Having 1 more friend than seatbelt.
Freaking Awesome: Cramming the extra person into the vehicle along with all their gear and going anyway in one car.  It was cozy cozy cozy!

Awesome: Going to a new place to camp
Awkward: Getting lost and a 1.25 hour drive turning into a 3+ hour drive
Freaking Awesome: Happy kids that thought it was the funnest part of the day

Awesome: Getting to see my family at our annual Ensign Ranch Weekend
Awkward: Gas from eating to much
Freaking Awesome: My brother in Law Ken getting blamed for my Gas

Awesome: Rob and Julie teaching us how to play the card game golf
Awkward: Dedra trying to use old maid cards to play golf
Freaking Awesome: Playing it time and time again and after 9 rounds Rhonda had a score of zero (this is really good if you dont play the card golf).

That should do it for now.  Happy January and I hope you have some Freaking Awesome experiences.

2012 in review

I am not making any commitments that I will do better blogging this year than last.  However the mood came over me to post something. Partly because it sounded fun and partly because I have had a lot of people I don't know commenting to me about my blog.  This is for you friends, family and the creepy people I don't know who seem to have an uncomfortable interest in what I have to say.  

With 2012 winding down I have thought about the things that I learned this year.  The following are little bits of wisdom that I have collected from a variety of locations.  These little gems are all things that I learned this year or that were painfully reinforced so I would not forget them.

 ·         You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor. I consider my children a real blessing in more ways than one.

·          I expected times like this - but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent.

·          Both can't be beautiful. It's me or the house

·         This was sent to me by one of my cousins here house is never clean, but she looks good.

·         There are No Stupid Questions. But there a LOT of Inquisitive Idiots.

·         Let's agree to respect each other's views, no matter how wrong yours may be. I am glad the election is behind us and a bit ticked off over the results. 

·         Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.  Is it bad that for the most part I don’t like people?

·         When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

·         When the going gets tough, the tough get going. The smart left a long time ago. (What are you doing standing there by yourself?)

·         Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can borrow mine.

·         When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

·         No please don’t eat me I have a wife and kids eat them. –Homer (I love Homer he is Smrt)

·         The tooth fairy only teaches small children to sell their body parts for money.

·         Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.  Then there are times that releasing the whole ward from their callings seems like a good idea…oh wait I don’t have to worry about that anymore.

·         I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

·         The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

·         After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles Mr. Anderson."

·         What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

·         Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

·         Most people have a bad memory.  How many of you realized this is the exact same post I ended 2011 with.  I said I would start blogging again I never said it would be new material.

On to 2013 for bigger and better things.  Or at least a consistent forward motion with a slightly upward direction.




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