The Fam

The Fam
Family Photos Fall 2015

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Good news I'm not a pedophile

I was recently driving through Rigby Idaho going to visit a couple of the rural high schools (I don't think they have anything but rural high schools in Rigby) in the area.  My cell phone rang and I wanted to take the call, however my Bluetooth battery was dead.  So me being the law abiding person I am pulled over and took the call.  It was a wonderful visit from a childhood friend and we talked for about 15-20 minutes.  When the call concluded I pulled on the road and drove on.  I found my way to the high school, took care of my appointment and followed the same route back through Rigby.

However this time there was a Sheriff's car on the side of the road watching the cars go by.  I was driving under the speed limit (because that's how I roll) and he quickly whipped out behind me and pulled me over.  Then things got weird.  I get pulled over 5-6 times a year and get a ticket about every 3-4 years.  Getting out of tickets is my super power.  It ticks my wife off but once again that's how I roll.  I don't even get excited or nervous when I see red and blue lights in the rearview mirror anymore.   So when the sheriff pulled me over I really didn't think anything of it, that was until he started asking me questions.  Our conversation went something like this:

Officer: License and registration poleeze (he spoke with a southern drawl)
Me: Here you go, what seems to be the problem officer?
Officer: Did you drive by here earlier today?
Me: Yes
Officer: Did you park on the side of the road by the elementary school during their recess and leave when it was over?
Me: I did take a phone call earlier today and parked on the side of the road, I looked up and pointed to where I parked up the road and for the first time realized "hey there is an elementary school".
Office:  Could you please show me your phone and the phone call you made?
Me: Not without a warrant. (I always wanted to say that to a was as awesome as you would expect)
Officer: Please wait here.  He walks back to his car and does his cop thing.  He might have looked something up or he might have ordered his lunch either way he was gone for a really long time.  Then he came back.
Me: Everything OK?
Officer: You don't have any warrants or outstanding tickets.
Me:  Thanks, I always wondered if I got away with all that stuff I pulled as a teenager.
Officer: He smiled and said what is your business in town?
Me: I am going to the high school to speak to them about the college I work for.
Officer: The reason I pulled you over is that a car matching yours parked in front of the elementary school and drove off as recess ended and the teacher on duty was nervous and thought it might be someone stalking a child.
Me: It probably was me, I pulled over to take a call, but there was no children stalking going on.  I have 6 of them at home and frankly don't have room for anymore.
Officer: Here you go, (he gave me back my ID and registration) drive safe.
Me: No problem.

I then drove to the High School, took care of my appointment, and left the town of Rigby.  Then I called my wife to tell her I got pulled over.  She immediately asked if I was speeding or if I was talking on my phone while driving.  I said I was doing neither, he pulled me over on suspicion of being a pedophile. She said "WHAT?"  I said don't worry, I then told her the story and I did not fail to mention all of this could have been avoided if I simply broke the law and took the call while I was driving.  Oh and not to worry it turns out I am not a pedophile.  Good news for everyone.

1 comment:

If you have been inspired by the words of brilliance or the creative spelling let me know and leave a comment, that is when it gets fun for us writing this thing is getting your feedback.