The Fam

The Fam
Family Photos Fall 2015

Monday, May 23, 2011

A few simple guidelines when flying

I travel with my work 2-3 times per month.  I love this aspect of my job and am generally able to determine when and where I go so I don’t miss important family events.  I am usually only gone 2-3 days at a time and home every weekend.  There are some basic travel tips I think people should be reminded of on occasion.  You would think this is common sense or just basic courtesy.  However  you would be surprised how bold people can be when in an enclosed space with 180 people they are never going to see again.   Here are a few things to remember:
1.       An airline blanket is not a cloak of invisibility; please do not change your clothes under them.
2.       Just because you cannot hear yourself farting, due to the fact you have headphones on does not mean the rest us cannot.
3.       When sitting next to someone who closely resembles Jabba the Hut absolutely insist on keeping the arm rests down. 
4.       Arm rests are doubly important if you get the middle seat and you are sitting between Jabba and his sister.  Nothing quite as much fun as a sweaty flesh sandwich and you are the main ingredient.
5.       If you are going to fall asleep and drool please select someplace other than my shoulder.
6.       If you have a pet please register it and don’t stick it in your carry one for us to discover after the plane has taken off.
7.       When someone offers you a breath mint they are not being polite they are begging for mercy please accept it.
8.       If someone next to you is sleeping with headphones and sunglasses on it means they do not want to talk and do not care about anything you want to tell them.
9.       When watching a porno on your laptop, just because you have headphones in does not mean the rest of us cannot see it.
10.   If I leave a snack out on my tray this is not an invitation to share.  Please keep your Jabba fingers out of my food and take your breath mint.


  1. Note to Self: Get a thicker blanket.

  2. I know all those people. I work with most of them.

  3. On my last flight, Jabba sat behind me. Wide was not all he was -- think knees.


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