The Fam

The Fam
Family Photos Fall 2015

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Surprising the things people want to read about

In my last post I discussed how a person was removed from sacrament meeting by the police.  It was a once in a lifetime experience I honestly do not wish to go through again.  In the first 24 hours after I posted that entry there were over 500 unique visitors to my blog.  I am just a small time blogger and on a really good day I might have 40-50 people review a post.  So having 10 times that was kind of cool and a bit shocking.  Who are these people and where did they come from?  How in the world did they find my blog?  I have had 15 followers with no additions for over a year.    I speak to a few people in my ward and get notes from family about certain posts. I sometimes call the Bishopric and let them know I am going to make their life easier by telling people how to get callings.

But with a single day of almost %1000 more hits I am now wondering if I should start to seek world domination via the Internet.  It should not take long to be the next Bill Gates or Steve Jobs.  The only problems I see with this plan is I don't have that many great stories to publish or know how to write software.  I am now going to try something different and probably more realistic.  I would like to double the number of followers I have on my blog.  This is where you come in and help.  You need to sign up as a follower on my blog.  You will get the following benefits:

  1. By following my blog you will be able to have a photo of yourself at the bottom of my home page under the title "Stalkers."  This might be unnerving for a few of you but for most I have a feeling you will be right at home.
  2. When I do write a post that will give me world domination of the Internet I will be kind to those who new me before I hit it big.  This could mean you will get actually  a signed Christmas Cards instead of the mass produced ones I will have my minions make for me.
  3. I have changed the settings on my blog so you don't receive emails from me whenever I make a post.  I want followers but I don't want to spam them.  That seems kind of counter productive.
  4. My sister has 34 follower and it is a point of contention that she has more.  She has admitted my blog is better in every way but still does not understand why more people don't follow it. 
  5. I will give you candy.
  6. If you don't want candy I have a van down by the river with puppies in it you could see.
  7. My blog will tell you how to get super powers and use them for good or evil depending on your mood.  
  8. You will be in the know when people talk about my blog around the drinking fountain at church.  You will be able to say "I was one of the first 30 people who followed his blog.  I cant tell you the many ways his writing has changed my life...some of them even for the better."
  9. We have a special introductory offer if you sign up now you only have to pay 8% tithing for the rest of year!
  10. We will mail a free kitten to the person of your choice with every new follower.  If you like the person we will overnight the box and cut air holes in it.  If you don't like them we will skip the air holes and send it by ground.  
You have benefits before you all you need to do is Click to become one of the cool kids.  Come on everyone is doing it.  


  1. STALKER #4. I came up with my stalker number in accordance to your sisters Wendy, Heather and Dedra being 1,2 and 3 I will claim #4 for myself. I must say I am guilty of sending your blog to friends and family. I think you are very funny. In fact last night after dinner I read some of them to my friends. My Father thinks you are hilarious...he wanted to know yesterday how you find the time to write. I think it is awesome so many are looking at your blog. Maybe you will become the next six sisters ;-)

  2. please send Dedra's cat to me. I have a sweater I need to fit to it, then I will deliver it to her personally. I know she would love that. also, I like Starburst and will you put that 8% in writing and send it to my bishop. :)


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